And My Broken Body Goes
by AfterTheRose
Summary: When the Normandy recieves a distress signal, a figure from Joker's past appears. During the rescue mission, all is not as it appears and sinister forces are at play.


**Authors Note:**

**My favourite ME fictions have always been about other missions and, after reading just about all that were going, I decided to try writing one for myself! **

**So this features my Adena Shepard in one of her many adventures.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The blue lights danced across the skylights as Commander Adena Shepard lay face-up on the bed. She took deliberately slow, deep breaths and moved her hand to push back strands of red hair from her sweat-plastered forehead. The sheets were twisted and tangled across her legs, holding her tightly. She pulled herself from them and stumbled blindly across the cabin to the small bathroom next to the entrance way.

Shepard splashed water onto her face and neck, and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked terrible and she knew it. The dark circles under her eyes showed off the nightmare-induced insomnia to any who looked. Leaving Earth to it's fate had taxed her more then she would ever let on to her crew. The images of it's destruction still simmered behind her eyelids, and with Kaidan injured on Mars and now Mordin gone…

Adena had many skills; she could throw you 50 feet with little more than a flick of a biotically-charged finger, she could play the charming diplomat until the cows came home and she could even knock out a mean tango, if she really had to. The skill she really prided herself on, however, was her ability to compartmentalize her emotions, and that was exactly what she did with the overlapping fear from her dreams. If there was anything she hated, it was showing weakness, and letting her subordinates see her shaking with terror was the last thing she wanted for morale.

She pushed her thoughts away, left the bathroom and threw on some sweatpants before heading down to the crew deck for some much needed caffeine.

* * *

The crew deck was deserted, and it was only with a quick glance at her omni-tool that Shepard realized how late in the night cycle it really was. She found her way towards the batch of coffee left cold on the counter, and poured herself a mug, not caring to heat it. She slumped into a chair and sat with her head in her arms, rolling into a half-state of consciousness. It wasn't long before she heard movement around her, and soon someone shuffled to the bench beside her.

"Hey Commander." Joker said as he lowered himself, gracelessly, onto the seat. She opened one eye to glare briefly at him, and grunted in response. Joker gave a breathy chuckle.

"Sleep still avoiding you, huh?" he asked her, a little too loudly..

"Shut it, Joker." Shepard groaned, "Can't you see I'm doing some very important not sleeping here?" She pulled her head off the table and shook her long hair back from her face. Joker grinned. "Aren't you supposed to be flying this damn ship?" she asked.

"Aw EDI's letting me off with a couple hours of sleep. Apparently I'm likely to kill us all if I don't get some shut-eye." he smirked.

"Jeff, it is vital that all crew members acquire at least eight hours of sleep each night in order to achieve optimum potential in their daily duties." came EDI's cool drawl from the loudspeakers.

"Aw, you know a healthy amount of anything just isn't my scene - I like to keep you all on your toes." Joker laughed.

"Joker, go get some rest. If I have to die again, at least let me be blowing up a reaper, not because my idiot pilot was too busy watching Blasto or some shit to sleep." Shepard laughed.

"You're no fun." he said, with an emphasised roll of his eyes.

"Hey, I'm nothing but fun, I'd just like to keep breathing." she grinned. Joker snorted as he lifted himself out of the chair.

"Sure you are. See you, Commander." he said as he shuffled away towards the crew quarters.

There were a few beats of silence.

"Commander, I would also recommend that you return to your quarters and rest." EDI told her.

Shepard sighed. _I would if I could_, she thought. Then she waved it away and downed her cup of coffee.

"I was dead for two years, I've had more than enough rest." she said, deadpan. She stood up and headed towards the elevator. The coffee ring on the steel table was the only proof she'd been there at all.

* * *

Four hours later, Joker was back at the helm. He pulled his seat forward and adjusted his course ever so slightly. They were in the Terminus system, scanning planets for resources. It was a tedious process but made for light work, which Joker was grateful for. The constant pressure of the Reaper threat was testing on his nerves, making him jumpy at every new contact on the screen. EDI sat beside him in the co-pilot seat, her fingers flying across the console and reading out a constant stream of numbers. Joker scrubbed a hand across his face, and turned to the screen on his left.

"Probe launch on my mark…" he stated, keying in the coordinates for Talis Fia, the planet they were orbiting. "Mark." A satisfying beep rang out across cockpit.

"Probe away." reported EDI.

They sat in silence, waiting for the probe to respond. Joker cracked his knuckles. He felt the heavy weight of Mordin's loss in the air. EDI had taken his death surprisingly hard, and Joker wanted to give her her space. The minutes ticked by arrogantly, water trickling through a crack in a dam. Joker found the silence between them almost unbearable. EDI was lost in her thoughts, and though Joker didn't want to be disrespectful to her, he couldn't help but be put out by her distance from him.

It was with a start that the obnoxious beep of the console brought him back to his work.

.

"Match is confirmed." EDI announced. "Shepard will be happy." she commented. Joker smiled and set about planning the co-ordinates to retrieve the Prothean Obelisk.

"Jeff, I have deemed it necessary to inform you that Shepard, against my recommendations, has spent the last three hours in the hangar bay, participating in vigorous physical activity. This is the fourth time in the last week, Earth time, that the Commander has surpassed sleep in favour of exercise." EDI told him, placing her silver hand on his forearm. The physical contact was enough to close the distance Joker had felt between them, and he felt a thrill go up his spine.

"Are you worried about her?" he asked, amusement obvious on his face.

"Yes, Jeff. She is my Commander and it is my duty to protect her." EDI replied, nonchalantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"She's a marine, that's perfectly common behaviour." Joker assured her, turning back to his console. "Set to scan for materials. On my mark… Mark.

* * *

Shepard was drenched in sweat and breathing hard. Her hair loose and tangled down her back, strands sticking to her neck. The lactic acid stung her muscles, as her body cried for oxygen. She bit down on the inside of her cheek. _Don't let the enemy see you're spent. _She told herself, as she brought her guard back up to protect her face from James' powerful punches. She weaved and dodged as best as she could, but the exhaustion from three hours of solid work out and almost no sleep was wreaking havoc on her reaction times. He got a punch into her stomach, sending her sprawling backwards, the air gone from her lungs. Instinctively, she flared a brilliant blue, and sent a powerful shockwave straight at him. He yelped as he was thrown into the air and landed roughly on his back.

"Not fair!" he cried out, coughing, "No magic biotic stuff, Lola. It's just unfair." She pulled herself off the ground, and stood above him holding her hand out to help him up.

"C'mon, Jimmy boy. I'm a foot shorter than you, not to mention the good 200 pounds you've got on me. You're just lucky I waited this long to use them" She goaded, her grin evident.

He grimaced, taking her hand.

"Well, if we're cheating…" he started. In a flash, he'd pulled her down and rolled across her, pinning her shoulders down with his knees. She struggled beneath him for a second, before she went still. "Looks like you're losing, Commander." he laughed.

Her eyes glinted menacingly. James felt a sudden lightness, that seemed to slow the very seconds, and then, abruptly, he was barrelled across the room into the hard wall of Kodiak. He hit the wall with a solid thud before sliding to the cold floor.

"Hey! Don't break my shuttle!" Yelled Cortez, from the workbench. Shepard smirked.

"I can buy you a new one!" she called, arrogantly.

Joker's voice echoed through the hangar bay. "Commander? We've got something up here."

"Guess this'll have to wait till next time." James said, picking himself of the ground, as Shepard was already halfway to the elevator, leaving a sillage of subtle blue energy in her wake.

"I'll just have to kick your ass another day!" She called. She grabbed her towel as she went, wiped the back of her neck, and dropped it on the floor behind her. "I'm doing Commander things now, mind playing housekeeper for me?" she called back to James, pointing at the towel, as the elevator doors closed on her grin.

* * *

When the elevators doors opened again, delivering her at the CIC, Shepard had transformed back into the professional, put-together commander. Her hair was back up in a bun and her expression had shifted to that of total control. She walked swiftly up the deck, weaving through the crew like a snake through grass. The metal of her boots clanged against the grates as she stormed towards the cockpit. Her hands were gripping the back of Joker's chair as she scanned the consoles.

"What've you got, Joker?" she asked, sharply. His hands were flying across the keyboard and he seemed to be locked in a conversation made seemingly of numbers with EDI.

"4-7-2-5-0-0-9-alpha-romeo-4-3-1." he called, swirling his chair around to face Shepard. He handed her a data pad. "It's an Alliance signature, but I can't make sense of it."

"We appear to be receiving a distress signal from an Alliance vessel." EDI reported, matter-of-factly, as she turned in her seat.

"However, there are no records of this ship's existence on any Alliance records I can locate."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at them both.

"Wait… what?" she asked.

"The signals we're receiving match Alliance regulations, and they're coming through as the SSV Eris. A ship which does not appear to exist." Joker shook his head, as if to clear the numbers from before his eyes.

Shepard paused.

"EDI, send this to Liara. Let's see what she can find out." She turned on her heel to head down to the Shadow Broker's office.

She was halfway to the elevator when she heard the static of an incoming audio transmission sound across the bridge. In a flash she was back at Joker's side.

"-kkksssszzz…..is…ssszzz...the...ergency...sssssszz...may...injured…ssszz...lora...ssssszzz..re..sssszzzzzz..assis...sppszzzzt...tance...sppzzzzt…-"

"Where is it coming from?" Shepard demanded. He gave her a bemused look.

"It's from the Eris." he insisted. "It's too garbled though, I can't understand it."

"Shepard, I am cleaning up the transmission now." stated EDI, in her trademark calm fashion. The atmosphere was tense with demurral.

"-ay Day, May Day. This is the SSV Eris. We have experienced a servere engine malfunction and have lost power.. Requesting immediate assistance. I repeat: This is Lieutenant Elora Kent of the SSV Eris requesting immediate assistance... We have injured personnel…-"

Joker tensed. His jaw was locked tight and Shepard could see that his skin had paled beneath his cap. He smacked the mute button on the transmission with enough force to break his fragile fingers, but he barely flinched.

"Jeff, your pulse has significantly increased. What is the cause of this?" asked EDI, concern obvious in her voice.

Joker's shoulders were a hard line and his eyes shone darkly.

"Impossible." he whispered to himself, shuddering. Shepard placed a firm hand on his upper arm.

"That transmission is... from a ghost." he uttered.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, please drop a quick review in the box below and let me know what you thought!**

**I'm really excited to get a project going, and all my thanks to the wonderful Neutral Ground for all the help!**

**(Go check out his stuff if you get a chance, it's awesome!)**

**I'll try and have the next chapter up in the next couple of weeks, but I'm due to start at university soon (Results day is tomorrow so my fingers are firmly crossed for my first choice) so please don't get mad at me!**


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